booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
