Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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