How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
