Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
