i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.