What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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