I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize