So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
