my room smells like sperm. sweet.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
