This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
