Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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