i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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