doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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