Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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