yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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