It's just like the Real World with babies
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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