So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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