What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
The air was thick with penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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