Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
