I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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