On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
