I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
