Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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