I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm passing your future prison.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize