What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
It's official drugs can't kill me
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
