i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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