This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
