And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
