You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
