ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
