you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
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Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
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My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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