i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
