I love black thongs
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize