Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
