i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
