Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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