I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
