If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
smell my finger.
He felt like a one man threesome
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Randomize
