we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
