nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
