Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
So much rum. So many feels.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize