well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
