At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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