I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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