i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
