we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Boobs speak an international language.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
