i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
