i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
