Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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