Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
