I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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