we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
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Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
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Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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