whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
and she was petting her beer can
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Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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