Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize