If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize