Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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