Well douche your snatch and let's go!
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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