He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
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I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
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Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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