come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
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It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
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Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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