that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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