Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
